I was eager, at times perhaps too much, to get us back on track. Without the cornerstone of Bill’s recovery, none of this would be possible again. At the time, I knew nothing of his substance use disorder. I lived with this conflicted view of the man I loved. I perceived him as an accomplished executive with a relational leadership style appreciated by his colleagues. It tortured me that he could not stop his drinking.
In order to support your spouse successfully, you’ll also need to take care of yourself and maintain boundaries. Seeking support from therapists and support groups can better enable you to support the person you love the most and help them stay sober. Their ability to stay sober is not your responsibility, but you can do some things to help them along the way. For many spouses, there is a fine line between supporting a partner addicted to drugs or alcohol and enabling them to continue their addiction. Enabling occurs when a spouse makes it easy for the other spouse to continue to abuse substances.
I don’t know of a single relationship problem that was solved by drinking. Sometimes people discover who they really are in recovery and grow apart. Others find the burden is too heavy and decide to end their relationships.
During this time, daily check-ins are extremely helpful. Stress can come in a lot of different forms when you’re trying to get sober – marriage doesn’t have to be one of them. If your partner has stuck by you through your addiction, then they’re most likely willing to support your recovery process as well. Taking a few extra steps can make the experience smoother for both you and your spouse as you work towards your path to recovery.
After graduating a year-long program, Lyle felt compelled to give back and began doing service work. Quickly this turned into a passion to help others that led to study the treatment industry marriage changes after sobriety top to bottom. He learned state statutes and regulations, and studied counseling practices from several angles. This eventually led him back to school for a degree in psychology.
The difference is that they have 100% control over whether they stay sober and we have none. Worse still, there’s no guarantee of sobriety beyond today. The pitfalls for the affected other (people affected by a loved one’s drinking or drugging) are many. Some of us try to convince ourselves that things will be fine now that our loved one is sober.
